Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
