I'm really into asian looking animals
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
