so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
