I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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