You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize