you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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