Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
