Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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