I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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