spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
