All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
