Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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