like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
