I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize