OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She's the barista slut.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
