About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
