and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
