apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize
