why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm just crazy horny about you
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
