what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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