There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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