i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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