didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
