You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
