Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
