I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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