even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
