please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
