why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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