R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
