Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize