I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
