i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize