Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
