he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
