If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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