check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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