There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
