You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
