I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
