I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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