Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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