You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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