Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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