singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
