i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
