No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
