my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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