HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
