So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Damn victory sex feels great
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