he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
