sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
