I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The best revenge is premature balding
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize