Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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