guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
