I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
