I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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