You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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