Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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