her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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