Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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