I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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