i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
