dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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