I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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