I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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