why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
