That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
